Story Go Round 12/31/2001, round 2, #1


What's your favorite kind of soup? Mine's Alphabet Jargon, the one with the little periwinkle words of technical realms. Commercials like this rarely made it onto the set. Dummies owned the media. Take Scab O'Riley, President of DOLT Network - he had been a crash-test dummy before buying out ABC. The scary thing is, he came out of that job smarter than he had been before. Smarter, but not smart enough. He died later that year in a severe auto accid ent. He'd been unable to operate his air bag cuz he couldn't understand the jargon in the manual. The funeral was interesting, as Joel put it, it was a 'fun funeral', so fun that Scab briefly considered rising from the dead to enjoy it. But the undead party was in full swing and no-one leaves a bitchin bash like that one cuz they were all eating Alphabet Jargon soup, where Scab finally was able to spell 'diphthong,' 'haiku' and 'alabaster' for a total of 42 Afterlife Points. He happily walked away with the trophy, taking the division fourth year straight.

Amber is purple; John is pink; Alan is blue; Terry is orange