My Title is Titular, and I'm full of Entitlement

(pre-titled by Amber)

and I'm eager to please! If you find yourself in need of a few bucks or a new identity, I'll set you up.

Here at Title Loans, Inc, we've got everything from Baron, Baronettes, and Herr Doktors, to Presidents, Professors, Emeritus, Executive Assistant Managers, Generals, and even Esquire; all of the letters both behind and in front can be yours for only half what the competition charges.

The best people, positions and jobs can be impersonated with a mere word! It's true! But don't just take my word, you gullible consumer, you - ask my personal friend, President Dan Thompson, who is also a customer. He's right about a thing or two, and it's gotten him into the White House! His full name is High Lord Uber-Chancellor and CEO Crime-Boss of the Ozarks-Andes Consortium, but he doesn't boast about it.

Would you care to step into the showroom, where we have hundreds of titles for you to choose from, each requiring only a lifetime of debt, but hey, what difference does that make? You've got a title now!